Warning: DO NOT EAT BEFORE READING!

Before you look at any of the pictures, read the story. If it doesn't make you gag and/or vomit then take a look at the photos! So, last night before Elvis went to bed I changed him from the onesie I had on him into just a t-shirt because the onsie was way too short on him. I was forced to put just a t-shirt on him because I refused to do laundry on my birthday or the days surrounding...thus, NO clean PJs! Around midnight I drowsily made my way upstairs to bed checking on the kiddos on the way. Elvis was none too happy because his diaper had come halfway off while sleeping. I just fastened it back (maybe not the most thought out decision I've ever made, but I WAS HALF ASLEEP) and went to bed. At 7 am on the dot I was woken up by Ruby next to my bed (oops, I left the gate wide open) saying

"MOOOOOOOOMMMMMYYYY, wake up!"

Nothing weird. She hopped in bed with me and we lay there a while before my eyes popped open in panic at Elvis's whining.

OH MY...was his diaper on? PLEASE LET HIS DIAPER BE ON!

No such luck! The poor baby was naked from the waist down, the diaper cover balled up on his bed and the diaper liner on the floor (he had to have thrown it over the rail himself because it was at least a foot or two away from the bed).

I KNEW this was going to happen! BEFORE I changed him into his t-shirt last night I had a completely clear vision of this happening, but convinced myself I was being insane. You would think, by now I would have learned to listen to my intuition (I've been quite intuitive my entire life). Will I ever learn? I have much doubt.

Prepare yourself! There was poop EVERYWHERE! A big stinking pile of it on his favorite Zutano blankie wedged up against the rails (he must have sat there and pooed), foot prints all over the mattress, and smears of it all over him & his bed! I remained calm outwardly and wanted deep inside to run screaming! I'm getting shaky just typing about it. The only thing I could think of was to clean Elvis off first, so I immediately put him in the bath while calmly but LOUDLY instructing Ruby to

"not touch any of the yucky stinky poop!"

After calling Alex (who was too busy at work to take an hour to come and help me) and my mom (who actually laughed then apologized for laughing at me) for advice, I put both of the kids at the table to eat breakfast: Elvis securely fastened in his high chair in which he stayed for nearly 2 hours while I completed the full clean up. After outfitting myself in a hazmat bandana doused in perfume and a dab of tea tree oil under each nostril, I took all of the sheets and blankie off (his toys were on a non poop part of the bed as if they had seen it all gone down and run for a poo free oasis, poor guys) and brought them outside for a good hosing off! By the time I finished that the kiddos were done with breakfast and Ruby had locked the sliding glass door, my only way back in the house!

"Ruby, sweet girl, please come and unlock the door for Mommy! Right there, that latch right there! YES! GOOD JOB!"

She had no problem unlocking it, thank goodness! The bed needed significant scrubbing down so I perched them in front of the TV like little catatonic parakeets to watch TOY STORY (which they are watching for a second time right now). My hands still smell like bleach, which I never use but am so thankful Alex bought a few months ago. Now the bed is de-pooed, Elvis is clean, but I am completely traumatized and still a little shaky! Hopefully I'll laugh about this sooner than later!

Can you see the fear in my eyes?

Edited for your protection! There is a HUGE globber of poo behind that cheerful starburst!

Poor Blankie and Sheets. . .they were, no doubt, the most abused in this situation!

Very smart toys! Check out the bunny hiding behind his ears and the frog with his back to the action!

Tiny Dancer

On the way to class.

The closer we got to the studio the deeper into sleep she fell!

Showing us her after class Tootsie Roll!

Striking a pose.

Ruby's first day of ballet and tap lessons was yesterday (the Cangelosi Dance Project)! She's getting big, I know. It was the most awesome gift for my birthday to be able to take her to her first of, hopefully, a life full of dancing! As fortunate as that was for me, it wasn't so fortunate for Ruby, her teachers, or her classmates. You see, we had already had a super busy day by the time class rolled around. So much fun was had that she had just fallen asleep when it was time to get ready. I dressed her in her sleep, she slept on my shoulder as we headed out to the car and she slept the entire way there. I hoped that it wouldn't turn into what it did! She wailed when I took her out of the car and had her walk to the door of the studio, hoping it would wake her a bit in time for her to get a little happy. No such luck! She promptly threw her ballet slippers at her more than understanding teacher (after years of teaching little ones I'm sure...I hope this wasn't the first time that had happened). After telling her teacher I was just a call away, I sat outside for a minute and convinced another mom to look in the room for me (I wasn't about to freak Ruby out again if she was, by some miracle, doing well). The other super nice mommy said she wasn't actively crying so I breathed a sigh of relief and headed to the bank, the only errand we were brave enough to run during the hour long class. We got back before half the class was over to wait outside just in case Ruby hadn't calmed down and the teachers needed us to intervene. While waiting, I saw a familiar face in our rear view mirror, Liz! Carly, her 4 year old, is in Ruby's class! Oh happy day! In recounting our beginning of class trouble Liz said, "Ruby must have been the little one face down on the floor while the others were in a circle doing plies." Oh goodness! At least she looked very happy when I picked her up, she even had on her tap shoes. I just have to be on top of making sure she has had a good nap BEFORE ballet instead of wanting to be taking one DURING! Bad mommy...hey, it was my birthday! A good sign she liked it, though: she woke up and immediately wanted to put on her "ballerina shirt"(a leotard), tights, and ballet slippers...she's been in them all day!

Dairy Queen & King

Yesterday was my 29th, ehem. . .26th birthday! (HA HA!) We started our day with a breakfast delivery from my mom...the McDonald's big breakfast, a guilty secret (not so much any more) fav in our house. My favorite is the sausage and biscuit with syrup on top, Alex likes the pancakes and eggs, Elvis will eat ANYTHING, and Ruby...well, Ruby likes the BUTTER! Yes, that is a BUTTER mustache in the first picture!

YUMMY!

Oh Butter, how I love thee!

Obviously going to all milk won't be a problem for this child!

Silly happy eater.

We had a fabulous day yesterday, thanks to the birthday money/gifts I got from various wonderful family members! We started the day off right thanks to Mom. We caught a movie (Harry Potter) and had dinner thanks to Mimi & Papa. I got to do some shopping thanks to Marsha Mom...uninterrupted thanks to Alex! All that and I got to see Ruby have her very first ballet class (separate post to follow). What a great day!

xoxo

Getting Snippy With It!

OK, so the big haircut took place almost 2 months ago, but I am just now unloading my flashcard onto the computer. It had to be done! Ruby, a 2 year old, was actually asking for a haircut because her hair was just plain unruly. Embarrassed that I hadn't done it earlier and completely strapped for cash, going to the salon was not an option. Yes, I cut her hair myself. For years Alex has cut his own hair and mine on occasion, so with his confidence by my side I steadied the scissors in my hand and began to snip off Ruby's baby hair. Goodbye baby hair! She instantly looked older...still does (obviously).

Ruby's hair, pre-cut.

Elvis had fun watching his sister and ...

they both enjoyed watching Spongebob!

There it goes!

Pretty much the finished product (I trimmed and straightened it out for the next few days)!

That was a milestone I put off until as absolutely as late a date as possible. I didn't want to say farewell to the remnants of Ruby the baby, but it was time. Our little baby girl is growing at an exponential rate, it is as if we have entered some time warp powerless against its blindingly fast passage of time. I have to go now, too much time has passed just writing this!

xoxo